As I notice the Autumn leaves begin to drop from the trees, their colours transformed, they let go from the seasons past. They gratefully drop to the ground and are slowly dissolved, continuing to feed into the cycle of life. I just love the colours and cooler weather that comes with Autumn. In somewhat of a Shakesperean way, I've noticed that this season has brought with it big change for myself, and the people around me too. An ending can feel painful, like a leaf being dissolved into nutrients for the seed of a new beginning. Honouring the process of change can help us move forward in a more balanced way.
Each time we experience a change, there are two main aspects, an ending, and a beginning. Not necessarily in that order, and sometimes by choice, sometimes by circumstance. A change signifies a loss of sorts - sometimes we forget that grief comes in many forms, not just the loss of a loved one. We can grieve the loss of a relationship, a job, a home, a way of being.
A loss or change can make us switch into fight or flight, solutions mode, or a feeling of forcing the new beginning before its time. If we launch straight into the pivot before we get the chance to process and reassess our world, we are missing out on the amazing healing and up-leveling that change can bring. Play around in the autumn leaves, and lean into the empowerment of change.
As you allow yourself to honour the ending and the feelings of loss that come with it, ask yourself:
- Who have I been in this situation, what would I work on and grow from personally?
- What am I learning about myself?
- What were the amazing things I'd like to replicate in the future?
- Have my values shifted?
- How have I been experiencing the world?
- Have I shown up for myself as much as I have for others?
- What were the negatives – are there new boundaries to be set?
- What do I need? My non-negotiables for self?
- What would help me experience the world in a more joyful way?
- Do my goals need shifting? What do I aspire to?
- Who would I like to be now and in the future?
Its important to consider closely who you are and who you are becoming. What are your needs? Are they being met? Is there a way to create more space for them as you move through this change? Make the most of the instability. Play with the settings in other areas of your life and look at your values and aspirations. This brings an empowering twist to a change. You are no longer a victim of circumstance; you are a creator of your future.
As I navigate my own change at the moment, I am finding its important to have the balance between forcing and allowing. Giving myself the chance to experience the loss and make gains through self reflection, before charging ahead – gives time for the path to become clear, and sets me up for balance. And with balance, comes health and happiness.
Julia